The Phoney Argument About Women and Choice

By Guest Blogger Margarita Mercure Hibbs

Margarita Mercure Hibbs with her son Christopher

It is time for women to stop judging each other for the choices they make regarding motherhood and work. I have raised 4 children and an extra foster child or two over the years and I did so as a "Stay at Home Mom" and as a working mother. It was a tremendous amount of work and I was judged by family and friends, in both cases. It was hurtful in every case and something which I have determined not to do to others.

When I was a "Stay at Home" mom, other women asked me condescending and hurtful questions like; "Gee Margarita, what do you do all day?!" And because I was a stay at home mom, often I was dismissed in social conversations and in business discussions. On the other hand, as a working mother, I felt frazzled and deeply splintered by the demands of work, children and husband.

This is normal and in the end, I did the best I could. Believe me, I took my job of raising good human beings that could be the best that they were meant to be, very seriously. In the end, I am proud of the people that they have become. Not only are they loved because they are my children, I really like the people that they are.

In humor, I often tell my children, "If I scarred you, I am sorry, but now you have material for your future therapy!" As for those that judged or criticized my parental decisions; take care of your own family and remember the following: Those that live in glass houses, with their children on Facebook, broadcasting their lives for all to see;" Don't throw rocks! Some of your kids are bragging about the fact that they are doing drugs and you are doing their homework for them." ;-)

The fact was, I was very lucky compared to many mothers, whether I was in the "Stay at Home" or Working category. I had a husband who worked very hard to make it possible for me to choose which was right for me and my children. Very often, parents don't have a choice. I stand in awe of single mothers or fathers who do it all without the financial, emotional and physical support of another parent. They are the ones that really have it hard and we should support them always.

With the economy as it is, I believe that Hillary Rosen was making a point about "relate-ability" and the difference between a person of privileged status versus the reality of the majority of mothers and parents from working and poor families everywhere. The majority of working and poor families are not fortunate enough to have Swiss Bank Accounts. Yes, that was snarky!

After the countless miles of video tape documenting the hateful and disrespectful statements and charges against our First Lady and the hundreds of proposed and passed legislation against women by the GOP, I really think FOX News and the Extreme Right need to tone down their deflective nonsense. You have no credibility on the issue of the War on Women and the majority of us women, Right, Left and Center will not fall for this again.